Harold Gets Visitor

A/N: Just a (hopefully) funny flash fiction 🙂


It was one of those instances where a gasp just wasn’t enough.

Still I gasped.

I suppose I should have screamed, looking back. A gasp seems oddly anticlimactic, but I’d never been the screaming sort anyway. That was more Darren’s kind of thing, but Darren wasn’t there.

And so I gasped, and they gasped, and for a few short seconds we could only stare at each other in silence.

Perhaps it was a good thing that I didn’t scream. When one got visitors, screaming hardly seemed polite, and these visitors had sure come a long way.

“Hello,” I said. Or at least I think I said it. I heard the word, and I rather thought I’d felt my mouth forming them.

“Hello,” one of them said in return, but it didn’t sound like a greeting. It sounded like he – she? It? – was merely repeating what I’d said. Tasting the word.

“I’m Harold,” I told them. “And would you mind terribly to get your spaceship out of my backyard? You’re ruining my petunias.”

Horns

A/N: Okay, so I tried writing a children’s novel. Or at least the beginning of one. My first try since elementary school, so let me know what you think 🙂


The day started with an impossibility and it just went down-hill from there.

RSP was currently standing in his room, heart racing and wings flapping in panic as he stared into his bedroom mirror. Staring at what he couldn’t see. His horns. The horns that he should have gotten last night, on the night of his one thousandth birthday, but which were lacking as surely as every one of his future prospects. What kind of dragon didn’t have horns?

He had to hide them. Though they never said anything, he knew his parents had to be disappointed by their only son’s utter failure as a dragon. Not only was RSP the worst flyer in his class, but his flame was so weak that it could hardly light a match. The lack of horns, however, was the worst of it all – what kind of dragon would he be without magic?

Desperately rummaging through his closet, he found a jungle hat that he‘d stopped wearing when Raoul had told him that he looked like a toddler with wings. For now RSP only cared that he looked like a dragon at all, toddler or otherwise.

Continue reading Horns

Mr. X

A/N: Okay, I am quite interested in hearing everyone’s opinion about this piece. It’s a flash fiction, and I think it turned out pretty okay. (If I may say so myself 😉 )

Enjoy


Mr. X was a perfectly normal man, which was quite a rarity nowadays. He wasn’t much of anything really. He wasn’t spoiled, wasn’t selfish, wasn’t generous, wasn’t particularly good or particularly bad. He was a completely average human being and very proud of this fact.

Sure, he supposed that he was rather orderly. Didn’t like a mess if he could avoid it, but that was still pretty normal. It was just such a shame that certain other people couldn’t see that.

“Seriously, it’s just a pen!”

It was his new roommate talking, and Mr. X already knew that this arrangement wasn’t going to work out. It wasn’t ‘just’ a pen. It was a pen on an otherwise perfectly empty table, and Gaby wasn’t even using it!

Continue reading Mr. X

The Anniversary Game

A/N: A quick flash fiction. 



Every year Eleanor Perry divorced her husband.

It was always around the middle of May, at the stroke of noon. It was true that midnight would have been more dramatic, but she honestly didn’t feel like having to stay up.

Eleanor loved her husband almost as much as she hated him. He was infuriating in every sense of the word. It was one thing that he was always mocking her, always embarrassing her and always making her feel like a little child – all of this she could forgive.

What she couldn’t forgive was how much he loved her.

He never tried to hide it. He was as brutally honest about his love for her as he was about everything else. He seemed to think it the greatest joke of his life.

“I want a divorce,” she said as she barged into the living room, and Roger looked up with his familiar sardonic smile. He was sitting alone, smoking one of those hated Cuban cigars that made the entire living room smell for days. He had been expecting her.

Continue reading The Anniversary Game

Home

A/N: This story started out as a philosophical thought (aka the boyfriend’s line). Do you agree with me? Or am I merely crazy? Anyway, enjoy!


Starting in college was one of the easiest decisions Julia had ever made. In fact it hardly even counted as a decision. She had always known that she would go as soon as she finished high school, and the transition to the local college was an easy one. She didn’t even have to move out. She simply drove to another address as she left the house in the morning.

However, finishing her bachelor degree forced her to consider her future. She had never bothered to think much about it. She loved her present life. Her family, her friends and her boyfriend of three years were all right where she needed them. Still, she couldn’t live at home for forever, and she did want to continue her education.

In the end she travelled across two states in order to start at Boston University School of Medicine in order to study forensic anthropology. Her boyfriend moved with her, which made the decision so much easier, and it only seemed natural at this point that they should move in together.

Continue reading Home

Yet Another Special Day

A/N: I actually wrote something! Even though it wasn’t particularly long… but write it I did!



“Today’s the day,” Matilda announced.

“Today’s the day for what?” Jerry asked.

“I’m not sure,” Matilda said. “But surely it must be the day for something?”

Jerry merely yawned. By now he was getting pretty used to Matildas eccentricities. “It could be the day for doing nothing?” he suggested. A nap did sound nice.

Matilda sent him a withering look. “No. Today’s something special. It has to be.”

“Why?”

“Because yesterday wasn’t.”

Continue reading Yet Another Special Day

Those Kind of People

A/N: Okay, so this piece was written in quite the hurry! It’s about two elderly women having a conversation. I can’t say much more without giving away the story. 


“Would you look at them!” Bertha said, disapproval clear in her voice.

Lena followed her friend’s gaze. Not far from them two people were talking together, but that wasn’t what had caught Bertha’s attention.

If it wasn’t enough the two men were black, then they didn’t even had the decency to dress like real Danes. Instead they were dressed in what could only be traditional clothing from whatever third world country they had come from.

“Disgraceful,” Lena agreed with her friend. “We’ve been so kind to them as to let them come here, and how do they repay us? They won’t even try to be a part of our culture! They should be ashamed of themselves!”

“I bet their wives are at home right now, cooking dinner for them, wearing one of those things, where you can’t even see their faces. Don’t they realise how uncomfortable those make us?”

Continue reading Those Kind of People

Third Time’s the Charm

A/N: Another 150 Words or less challenge! This one was supposed to fit the picture – do you guys think I nailed it or not?


Their first date had been a complete catastrophe. It had involved an escaped pet monkey, a black eye and way too much vomit. But he’d been charming and he’d laughed over his own misfortune, so she’d agreed on a second date.

Which she was currently very pleased about.

The little Italian restaurant was as taken directly out of Lady and the Tramp. That was minus the alley, the garbage and the singing Italian. A charmingly crooked table was standing in the middle of a pavilion, completely covered in leaves glistering with dew. Lanterns provided a feeling of fairy dust and adventures, and Susan inhaled deeply, imagining the air tasted like magic.

Everything was perfect.

At least until the fire in the lantern somehow got in contact with the leaves, and romance was suddenly forgotten in their pursuit to put the fire out.

Well, she supposed third time’s the charm.

A Locket

A/N: Okay, so this was a challenge. I was given the first sentence to work from, and had a total of 150 words after that. It was fun, and I can definitely recommend taking a little writer’s challenge every once in a while!


The lock was still there, clinging to the fence, its shackle rusted from exposure.

“Just like us,” she thought, remembering with a cynical smile how they’d been. Her so trusting, and him so charming. She’d never had a chance.

“Here,” he’d said as he’d locked it. “This is our promise. We’ll be together for forever.”

They weren’t, but the locket was still hanging there, mocking her. How stupid she’d used to be.

Suddenly she felt two arms around her. Turning around she smiled at her husband, kissing his cheek softly.

“Darling,” he murmured, and she grinned at him. She could still cringe over how naïve she’d once been, but she’d been fourteen. Sixteen when it had ended. Thank God, she’d found someone better eventually. Someone worth a locket.

“Ready?” she asked, holding up the pliers.

He grinned at her. ”For doing something stupid and potentially illegal? Always.”

Oh, yes, this time she’d definitely found a man worth a locket.

The Wedding Shop

A/N: Another flash fiction! (Though this one was almost a short story)


There were few things Riley detested quite as much as the myth of Happily Ever After.

The idea that if only you met a man, your soul mate so to speak, your life would instantly become perfect and you would have nothing else to wish for. Well, perhaps a couple of children. Perfect copies of your perfect man. And because they were so perfect and he was so perfect, your life would be perfect as well. A little world of rainbows and sunshine.

The mere thought of it made her want to hurl.

Which was probably why a bridal shop hadn’t been her first choice as a job opportunity.

But it was 2009 and in the midst of the economic crisis you took what you could get. Even if you hated weddings, and your job was to tell a bride twenty times a day that she looked like a ‘real-life princess’. You had to pay the bills somehow or another.

Continue reading The Wedding Shop