Tense Tea

Hi everyone!

Today’s post will be interesting. It’s about editing. Basically we got a really bad text, we are supposed to make good. We can add stuff if we’d like, but we can’t delete any. So here goes!

Original

Carl and Daisy were drinking tea. Carl was angry with Daisy. Daisy was sad that Carl was angry. When he was angry, they fought a lot, and she felt upset all the time. Now he said to her that she was ugly. That made her even sadder, because she didn’t even think it was true. She didn’t like Carl anymore. Carl also did not like her.”

Edited

The teacup was shaking in her hands, despite her biggest effort to appear indifferent. Daisy knew Carl was furious with her, and she struggled to hold back her tears as he glared at her. He’d acquired an unbeaten ability to seem as if she was the most disgusting thing he’d ever seen, and she refused to let him see her cry. But her eyes were burning and despite practically gulping down the tea, her throat felt dry and raw. Sometimes she felt like Carl was always angry with her.

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